


Secrets Kept

by sarahenany, Thursday26



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Face Slapping, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21859087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahenany/pseuds/sarahenany, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursday26/pseuds/Thursday26
Summary: What-if for the make-up exam in s2 e4. In strict traditional Japanese families, slapping a kid is a routine punishment. Kageyama has a strict traditional Japanese family. Hinata notices. Nothing is said, but cuddles and nightmares ensure. Big Brother Hinata, slash if you want to squint. Basically just an excuse for some mild Kageyama whump and comforting Hinata.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 18
Kudos: 194





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Thursday26 for helping write this, cheerleading, and generally going above and beyond.

Tobio stands outside his Otosan’s study, heart pounding. He’s already signed the parental permission slip for him to go to Tokyo, but he hadn’t counted on the school giving him _another_ paper to be signed: an authorization to take the make-up exam he and Hinata have to take. Any test outside of regular scheduled times has to be authorized, so he’s got to get his father to sign it.

He steps into the study. His father is reading at his desk and his mother is writing something, seated on the chair in the corner. He makes some sort of sound and presents Otosan with the form.

Otosan scans the paper as cold slips through Tobio’s veins. But when Otosan looks up at him, his face is impassive. “A make-up test, Tobio?”

He manages to get out a terrified “Yessir.”

The temperature in the room drops. “Why do you have to take a make-up test?”

“I didn’t pass the English test.” Monotone. Don’t stammer. Showing weakness is bad. He doesn’t look in Otosan’s direction – he doesn’t know where to look. He should be bowing, but Otosan is sitting down and Tobio’s standing, so there’s no way to politely avoid eye contact except look away.

“‘Didn’t pass?’” his father repeats. “You failed.”

Tobio flinches. He shouldn’t have tried to sugar-coat it. He stammers, but can’t find anything to say. His heart is pounding out of his chest and he’s so cold. Okaasan is looking up from her book now, examining him coolly. She’s not saying anything, but he can feel her disappointment on him. She doesn’t have to say anything for Tobio to know.

Otosan’s lips tighten. “I expect my son to be diligent in his studies.” His gaze flickers to Okaasan. “It’s like you want her to be disappointed in you. Your own mother.”

“I’m sorry,” Tobio mutters. “I’ll do better.”

“Well if you could have done better, you should have done it before now,” Otosan says, clipped. “Are you even trying?”

“I’ll try harder.” There’s nothing else to say.

“You’re not even trying now.” Otosan pauses, long enough for Tobio to hear his heartbeat in his ears. “I won’t have any son of mine be a failure at his studies. That club of yours is all very well, but maybe it needs to stop if it’s making you lazy.”

It’s not a threat he hasn’t heard before, but it makes him feel cold every single time. “Please, sir--”

“And you say you want to go to Tokyo today as well. Why should we let you go at all? It seems it would be better to keep you here and get you studying.”

Tobio feels tears burn in his eyes and panic thud at his chest. He opens his mouth to say something, but his throat has dried up.

But then Okaasan speaks up. “Dear...”

That’s all she has to say: his father is already sighing. “I know. That club is the only thing that’ll get him anywhere. We know that he won’t get anywhere good by studying.”

Tobio’s so relieved and thankful for his mother’s intervention he could cry. “We have to let him go,” she says, “if we want him to have a chance at anything productive.” It’s weird - it hurts, but also makes him want to do better even more?

“Fine.” Otosan signs the sheet and shoves it back toward Tobio. But before Tobio can pick up the sheet, his faher’s hand comes down on it. Otosan keeps his hand on it and gives him a serious look. “Don’t bring me one of these sheets ever again.” It’s a warning and a threat.

“I won’t, sir. Thank you, sir,” Tobio says, knees weak with relief, and bends to take the paper.

He doesn’t even see the slap coming, but suddenly there’s an explosive sound in his ear and his cheekbone is throbbing, the flesh of his face burning. There’s a ringing in his ear. “Thank you, sir,” he mutters, picking up the paper and bowing before walking out of the room with a tightly controlled expression. Impassive. Stoic. As he should be.

* * *

He can’t hide it from Hinata at the test, of course. Most people are dissuaded by his glower from asking intrusive questions, but Hinata just blurts out, in that way of his, “What happened to your face?!”

Tobio shrugs. “Was tossing a volleyball around. It hit the wall and smacked me in the head.”

He expects Hinata to call him Bakayama and joke about him getting clobbered by a volleyball, but Hinata just frowns, lifting his hand like he’s maybe going to touch Tobio’s face. Tobio steels himself for the pain. But then Hinata’s hand pauses in mid-reach, his eyes going wide as he looks closely at the swollen cheek. Hinata stays frozen for what feels like days, then lets his hand fall back to his side in an uncharacteristically hesitant gesture. “It must have hit you pretty hard. That looks like it hurts,” he says, and there’s something soft in his usually loud tone.

Tobio wants to snap at him to shut up, but his throat closes and he can’t manage it. He busies himself with taking out his pens and pencils.

Later, Hinata lets Tobio lie down and sleep in the back of Neesan’s van, “because you look like you need it.” Tobio’s grateful, because if Neesan got a good look at his face, she’d probably ask the same as Hinata. At least the Nekoma team doesn't know him well enough to pry. And his glower means Karasuno knows better than to ask.


	2. Chapter Two, Version One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next are variants of what might have happened after that.

Drat, drat, drat. Shouyou’s been unable to enjoy playing today the way he always does, because there’s been something heavy underneath his heart all day.

He didn’t notice it at first. But now he can’t _stop_ seeing it. The bruise on Kageyama’s cheek was paddle-flat, looking like the imprint of a hand, the mark much bigger than Hinata’s own (admittedly small) palm and fingers. It wasn’t visible to the casual eye, but when he moved closer, he saw it. Finger-marks. Bruised skin curling around Kageyama’s jaw (and dammit but that makes something hot and tight in Shouyou’s chest), and the telltale imprint of a thumb, the stark line of a thumbprint cutting up his cheek. Someone _slapped_ Kageyama. _Hard._ That makes Shouyou’s chest burn. And with the way he’s not talking about it, it’s got to be family.

He lets him sleep in the backseat, partly to shield him from Tanaka Saeko’s too-insightful eyes, partly because he’s having to fight the urge to bundle his big scary setter in a blanket like he does with Natsu and tuck her in safe and warm where nothing can possibly hurt her. Kageyama looked so lost, so alone. He’s not alone! He has Shouyou! He has a _whole team_ who love him! He’s not alone, he’s _not!_

And now it sucks even more, because Shouyou can’t sleep. It’s worse than before a match. Kageyama’s on his bedroll next to him on the floor, lying on his side facing him. Kageyama usually sleeps on his other side, but he’s lying so his sore cheek isn’t touching the pillow. Just that… It shouldn’t make Shouyou feel like he’s burning up inside, but dammit all, he _feels_ like it. Like something’s on fire behind his breastbone _._

He doesn’t really know when it starts, but he’s watching when Kageyama’s face scrunches up. His eyes squeeze shut, his face tightens in a grimace, and he starts to shift in his sleep, making little high-pitched sounds. Looks like Kageyama’s having a nightmare, poor kid. Wait! What? _Poor kid?!_ Where did that come from? This is big scary Bakayama! But _drat,_ shrinking into himself and whimpering like that, he looks so freaking _tiny,_ like he’s _Natsu._ “Kageyama?” Shouyou breathes.

“Please, Otosan…” Kageyama’s eyes are still closed, and his voice is so small, so different from when he’s on the court. He sounds like he’s in pain. “I’m sorry…”

Shouyou’s breath catches. So _that’s_ who put that mark on him. Shouyou feels like he might start on fire, and it’s not the good blaze of enthusiasm he gets in a match. He knew Kageyama’s parents were strict, but the thought of his dignified, quiet friend actually being _slapped_ by his father makes his chest burn with outrage. “Oh, Kageyama…” he whispers, “Crap. I… You… That’s wrong,” he whispers, not knowing who he’s talking to. “That’s so wrong.”

He swallows in frustration, not knowing what to say. He brushes the backs of his fingers whisper-light against the swollen cheek. It’s still hot and inflamed to the touch, and it makes Shouyou’s heart hurt and his eyes sting. “I’m sorry,” Kageyama whispers again, and _dammit,_ he shouldn’t be apologizing.

Shouyou moves in close the way he does with his little sister, wrapping his arms around Kageyama’s shaking shoulders and easing his sweaty dark head onto his chest. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, not loud enough to wake his teammates but loud enough to be heard. “You’re dreaming, Kageyama, shh, it’s okay, everything’s fine. You’re safe, shh, shh…” There’s a whimper that might be another apology. Shouyou rocks Kageyama a little and strokes his head gently, smoothing his hair down. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “You’re safe, I’m here. Shh.”

One long arm comes up to twine around Shouyou’s back, and he stifles a pulse of shock as Kageyama burrows into his chest, clinging on desperately like Natsu always does during bad dreams. “I’m sorry,” Kageyama mutters in his sleep. “I’m sorry.”

Oh, how Shouyou wishes Kageyama were awake! Then he could make a joke or do something silly and snap him out of it! But he’s not, so all he can do is hold him closer. “You didn’t do anything bad. Shh. There’s nothing to be sorry about. Just relax, shh, shh…” Shouyou slips his arm underneath Kageyama’s neck so his head’s pillowed on Shouyou’s arm, Kageyama’s other arm sandwiched between them. Kageyama nestles his face into Shouyou’s neck and Shouyou feels like his heart is going to burst. “Shh,” he repeats, rubbing his cheek against Kageyama’s hair.

“Nuh…” Kageyama’s body trembles in Shouyou’s hold and it makes Shouyou’s heart ache. He starts rubbing Kageyama’s back, firmly, up and down, using his other hand to tug his shirt down in back and make sure he’s not cold and pull the covers up over him. Kageyama’s still clinging on tight, and Shouyou keeps soothing him, and some time later, his whimpering and trembling quiet down and he rests easy, relaxed in Shouyou’s arms. Shouyou keeps holding him – the nightmares might come back, after all. It’s safer to keep him right here where he can keep an eye on him. Makes more sense to keep him close. Keep him safe.

* * *

Tobio surfaces slowly, filled with warmth, his heart feeling big and soft and happy. Something wonderful must have happened last night, but he’s still too deeply nestled in that space between sleeping and waking to think about what it could be now. He snuggles more deeply into the secure, warm feeling, a strong heartbeat anchoring him, strong arms keeping him safe.

He sinks again into healing sleep without ever fully waking.

* * *

Reluctantly, Shouyou relaxes his hold on Bakayama. He’d probably be all weird about waking up to find himself in a hug. Kageyama’s weird about a lot of things. So he slips his arms from around him, feeling a little disappointed as he sees Bakayama’s sleeping face scrunch up like a kid deprived of the _nuigurumi_ he was cuddling. Shouyou tucks the covers more firmly around his own shoulders and buries himself in his own bedroll like a mature adult who totally does not want to snuggle. And yeah, so _what_ if he brushes the backs of his fingers one last time over the bruise on Kageyama’s cheek, and so _what_ if his heart tightens to think of him hurt? Kageyama’s sleeping, and it’s not like anyone else can see.

Seeing Kageyama wake up a bit later, looking peaceful and relaxed and not at all like he’s had bad dreams, makes Shouyou feel – well, he’d never admit it to anyone, but – a little proud and happy. Like maybe he’d like to be there for Bakageyama whenever he has a nightmare.

Maybe he should try. “You were having a bad dream last night,” he says, keeping his voice really light and his head down, fussing with his bedroll like he’s not talking about anything important. “Want to talk about it?”

Shouyou regrets it when, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kageyama jolt and blink. “Did I say anything?!” he gasps, his head whipping round.

“Nope,” Shouyou lies cheerfully with a big smile, straightening to face Kageyama before he lugs his bedroll off to storage. “You were just moving around some and you looked kind of upset, that’s all.” He shrugs lightly, smile still in place. “I wondered if you wanted to talk about it?”

He doesn’t miss the way Kageyama’s shoulders slump in relief. “Yeah,” Kageyama mutters, busying himself with his own bedroll. “I was really worried about passing the test.” He straightens and looks Shouyou straight in the eye. “I knew if I didn’t pass it I wouldn’t get permission to come here. I was worried about that all night yesterday, and I guess I must have dreamed about it last night, too.”

“Oh, I get it.” Shouyou gives Kageyama his broadest smile. “I don’t blame you! I was really worried about it, too! Good thing we passed!”

“Yeah.” Kageyama ducks his head. He doesn’t _smile,_ of course – Grumpy-yama never smiles – but there’s something relaxed about his face and he moves easier as he goes to stow his bedroll. “Good thing we passed.”

Shouyou isn’t going to deny the fondness that fills him as he watches Kageyama moving around, not anymore. _Go ahead and keep your secrets, Bakayama. I’ll keep them for you as well,_ he vows. _Promise._


	3. Alternative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started out as a tiny fanfic of Sarah's wonderful fic and she believes that I should share it <3
> 
> Well, here you all go and I hope you enjoy it!!

The first day of camp in Tokyo isn't what Shouyou expected it to be. Well, it was what he expected in a lot of ways: a lot of volleyball and a lot of fun, but Shouyou didn't enjoy it as much as he wanted to. Ever since he noticed the bruise on Kageyama's face, it's all he can think about. Just the thought of it marring Kageyama's face has his stomach turning, burning, like it's being dunked in acid. 

Shouyou took the front seat in Saeko-neesan's van, hoping to distract her from asking questions. Which he probably shouldn't have worried about, since he spent most of that trip fearing for his life while Kageyama slept in the back, only waking long enough to eat something. But getting his feet back on the ground reminded Shouyou of what he realized earlier today. 

He remembers holding his hand up to Kageyama's face and realizing that the shapes are similar, even if his hand is so much smaller. The bruise, which only darkened over the day (and everyone avoided asking questions about after the glare Kageyama gave to the first person brave enough to ask him), was paddle-flat, curling over his jaw, the stark impression of a thumb coming up his cheek like a flag erected on a field. Shouyou eyed it with dismay the longer the day went on. He knows for a bruise to color like Kageyama's has, the blow needs to be delivered  _ hard _ . And knowing that someone hit Kageyama in the face that hard has his chest breaking open.

Shouyou spends the day fielding questions about it when people realize that asking Kageyama directly is a sure-fire way to be on the receiving end of a death-glare that is too close to literal for comfort. He repeats the lame story that Kageyama told him earlier, the lie falling easier and easier from his mouth the more times he repeats it. About halfway through the day, Shouyou starts wishing that everyone would ask Kageyama directly so he would know just how many people were worried to see the mark on his face. So he could see how many people were worried about  _ him _ . 

Kuroo-san takes the lead in teasing Kageyama about his clumsiness, which seems to ease the tension in Kageyama's shoulders, and he takes the ribbing with ease. Kenma keeps on giving Kageyama this twisted-mouth look like he doesn't believe Kageyama for a moment, but he stays quiet, eyes always on him. Soon after Kuroo-san starts teasing, everyone else falls into line and continues the banter. Kageyama even has a relaxed slouch to his posture while they eat at the end of the day. 

Which was all well and good, but Shouyou can't sleep now. Everyone is sleeping peacefully, the room they're staying in filled with deep breathing, interspersed sometimes with mumbles of half-formed sleep-talking. Kageyama is sleeping next to him, Shouyou isn't sure if that's because they're friends or because of how it ended up working out, but Kageyama’s there and Shouyou’s here, and Kageyama is facing him. He's sleeping on his back, the side of his face that doesn't have the bruise turned upward, so he has an unimpeded view of the bruise against pale skin, even in the low light. Although in the dark, he could mistake it for a shadow, if he didn’t already know what it was. He can't stop looking at it. Who hit Kageyama that hard? The only person he knows who is strong enough to deliver a blow like that would be Asahi-san, but he wouldn't hurt a fly. He felt so bad when he hit Shouyou in the face that one time, and that was with a ball. He can't picture Asahi-san raising a hand like that, ever.

Kageyama flinches in his sleep suddenly, making Shouyou jump. The flinch is followed by whimpers, his face twisting with sadness and pain. Shouyou watches, holding his breath, unsure what he should do. "Please, Otosan," he mumbles. "Please... no. I'll do better." 

Shouyou's heart is in his throat and he feels like he might throw up. Otosan?  _ His dad? _ Did his dad do this? He knew that the Kageyamas were strict (from what Kageyama has shared with him about his home life), but he didn't realize  _ how _ strict. Or he couldn’t imagine it. Kageyama's whispering is barely louder than Noya-senpai and Tanaka-senpai's snoring, but he may as well be yelling. "Please, no," he begs, followed by a hard flinch and a yelp, like he's been hit again. 

The yelp is loud and Shouyou knows that Kageyama would be horrified to know that he woke everyone up. "Bakeyama," Shouyou whispers, a little louder than Kageyama's begging, hoping to wake him up.

Kageyana inhales and exhales deeply, like he's on the verge of crying. Shouyou doesn't want to deal with that at all, terrified of the thought. Before he can think too hard, he pokes Kageyama hard in the arm. "Bakeyama," he repeats, more firm this time. 

Kageyama's eyes fly open with a gasp. At least it's quiet. "Shhh, shhh," Shouyou says quickly, purring a hand on Kageyama's chest to stop him from sitting up. Not that he's that strong, but Kageyama stays down. Kageyama's chest rises and falls under his hand quickly with his rapid breathing. His heart is beating furiously against Shouyou’s palm.

"Hinata?" Kageyama asks in confusion, blinking. "Why are you touching me?" 

"You were having a nightmare," Shouyou whispers back, removing his hand with effort. He closes his hand around the phantom sensation of a too-fast heartbeat against his palm.

"Nightmare?"

Shouyou nods. "Yeah, you were whimpering and thrashing around."

The lighting is really bad, but he swears he can see Kageyama pale. "Did I say anything?"

Shouyou doesn't think: he shakes his head. "No." 

The relieved breath that Kageyama lets out is palpable. "Sorry for waking you up." 

Shouyou shrugs, not mentioning that he wasn't sleeping in the first place. "Do you want to talk about it?" Kageyama's teeth click together. "You don't have to if you don't want to," Shouyou says quickly, not sure why, but it feels right. "Talking about my nightmares helps me feel better so I can go back to sleep, you know?" 

Kageyama doesn't respond, but when has that ever stopped Shouyou? "You know, I used to have this nightmare all the time before I got to know you. It was really scary in my sleep, but seems kind of silly when you think about it," he says easily, shuffling closer to Kageyama. Shouyou takes his silence as permission to continue. "You see, you have this really scary face, Kageyama--"

"I do not," Kageyama protests, a little too loud.

"Shh!" Shouyou hushes, putting a hand over Kageyama's mouth, his fingers near the edge of the thumbprint left on his cheek. He forces himself not to look at it, but is careful not to touch it. It probably still hurts. He says quiet, listening for the sounds of anyone else waking up. But everyone continues to slumber peacefully. "As I was saying," Shouyou continues, hand still over Kageyama's mouth, "you have a really scary face. It's not scary  _ now _ . Now that I know you're a loser anyway." Kageyama makes a sound of protest, but doesn't try to remove his hand. Instead he glares. "See, like that!" Shouyou whispers excitedly. "Anyway, you have a scary face and my nightmares were filled with your big face!

"Not that your face is that big, really, but in my mind it was twenty meters tall! And it kept on glaring at me and I couldn't escape it, no matter where I was hiding! It was so scary!" 

Kageyama removes Shouyou's hand from his mouth. "You're being too loud," he whispers. "Do you want to wake up Daichi?" 

Shouyou shivers at the thought. Daichi also has a mean glare. "No," he whispers, pouting. "But now you have to take responsibility."

"Responsibility?" 

Shouyou nods his head decisively, not exactly sure what he's doing. "You have to comfort me now, reminding me of my scary dreams."

"Wasn't I the one who scared you?" 

Shouyou flops onto his pillow. "Doesn't matter. Now hold my hand," he demands, holding it out.

"Hold your--" 

"Shhhh!" Shouyou shushes again, covering Kageyama's mouth. Kageyama glares at him again. "Yes. You have to hold my hand now. I'm scared. The only thing scarier than what I'm scared of is you, so you'll protect me. Don't argue." 

Kageyama gives him an incredulous look, but laces their fingers together. Shouyou sighs happily, relaxing against his pillow, smiling. "Much better." He doesn't mention how tightly Kageyama is holding onto him. He's not mentioning a lot of stuff. 

"Go to sleep, Dumbass. You need to rest," says Kageyama, looking at the ceiling. 

Shouyou closes his eyes, smile on his face. "You too, Bakayama." 

Sleep comes easy after that, but only after Kageyama's breathing has evened out first. Just in case the nightmare comes back. It doesn't, and the knot in Shouyou's chest has loosened enough for him to sleep. The thought of Kageyama's dad hurting him like that still makes him uneasy, but he needs his rest so he can play well tomorrow. Kageyama obviously wants to move past this and he won't be able to if Shouyou isn't giving everything he has on the court because he's tired.


End file.
